Day 36: Kolkata, India

So, only 4 days left for us here in India. It has gone so quickly! This week has been very different from last week. We were put out of our comfort zones alot more, which is good I guess. On Wednesday night we were at Motherhouse organising our week of volunteering, when this French lady pretty much begs to voluteer for a ministry she needed help with. We'd been planning on seeing the Daya Dan children's Christmas play that evening, so we were reluctant, but she said "this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for a volunteer!" And we figured volunteering isn't volunteering unless you have to sacrifice something. So we said yes.
Its hard to explain this lady, Maruxa. She was fully of energy, but didn't explain things very well, so we had no clue what she wanted us to do for ages. But basically, she needed us to go out into the streets, covering different areas, and pass out cards to the rickshaw wallors (they are men who carry passangers in a carriage sort of thing for a living). The next day they were to come, with their cards, to Shishu Bhavan (one of the Missionaries of Charity centres) to recieve a Christmas present! She split Erin and I up and put us with more experienced volunteers (except that my guy, Olivier, had only been in Kolkata for one week! - i.e. less than me). So off Erin goes, with Guilarno (or somethingarather) and me with this lovely French guy. We walk out into the dark streets of Kolkata, armed with our cards, looking for richshaw wallors. Its funny how God is present in the oddest places, but I felt Him strongly that night. Seeing the happiness of the men when they got their cards told me I was doing His work, even if it didn't initially feel like it.

This week we've been working at Shishu Bhavan, a children's home for disabled kids. I have absolutely loved it. Erin was a little less enthusiastic when she first started, but is now much the same as me. I fell in love with the kids as soon as I walked in the room. I feel so strongly God's love for them, and when I'm caring for them, or making them smile, I feel God's presence. Its such a fulfilling thing to do. We sing to them and play with them and feed them and change diapers - basically just love them, however we can.
We had planned to go back to Love Calcutta Arts next week, Monday and Tuesday, (they're so busy this time of year). But we love Shishu Bhavan so much, we going to split our time half and half. We're also working there Sunday after church (cos even on the Sabbath the Lord's work doesn't stop, right?) On Monday night we're going to see the kid's Christmas play at another centre, and Tuesday we're having dinner at Peter and Leonora's after work. So we're pretty busy! We leave for Rome very late Wednesday night, but we have to check out of our guest house by 12 noon, so we're saving some touristy things for that afternoon. We're going to the Kolkata Museum, a market, and to this this big old tree someplace. Then we leave for the aiport around 11.30pm for our 20 hour journey to Rome woohoo!

Sunday mornings are not great for us. We've been to two different churches here, and are going to another one tomorrow. We're really missing our home church. We feel so unfulfilled... not from the lack of God, but just from a longing for a place to freely worship Him. We pray alot, and spend alot of time in His word. Sometimes I just go and sit with Him, which is amazing, but I'm itching to sing to Him, to lift my hands in praise. If guys could pray for God to take us to a place where we can worship, that would be awesome.

God has been very alive for me here in India. He has been teaching me, more so than I have ever experienced. He's been revealing answers to questions that have been plaguing me this year. It's as if He's been waiting for my ears and my heart to be fully turned to Him, so that I can recieve His words. He's been tearing things out of the depths of me, making me see myself the way He sees me. There are flaws in me that I know break His heart, but I am beginning to surrender these things to Him, and He is changing the very core of me. The more I let Him in, the deeper He goes. Sometimes it is excruciating - to see who I truly am. But He is a healing God, and I am in His hands. It's an amazing feeling.

"I am yours, and if you choose to cut me to pieces, every single pieces will be only all yours." - Mother Teresa

If you could be praying for our health, that would be good. Both of us haven't been well - not really sick or anything, but we have on and off headaches and sore tummies and sore throats and colds etc. Maybe its just the polluted air here, who knows? But prayer for that would be cool.
India has been a different experience for me than it has been for Erin. She loved it - pretty much straight away (as you'll have gathered from our previous blog). But I am much the opposite. When we first arrived I found it almost overwhelming - the poverty, diseases, the smells, the people staring, the mental driving, the HORNS (I get frights so easily, it felt like I was going to have a heart attack). Just walking the streets here is stressful for me. The other day there was a dead cat of the side of the road. There are flea-ridden dogs, and chickens, and pooping goats that just hang around the sidewalks. There are rats as big a cats (Erin will say I am exaggerating this, but she is lying and I am telling the truth. One ran straight at her feet the other day and she just casually stepped to the side, while I screamed and ran).
Indians can be very difficult people. They are 'friendly', i.e. they say hello, good morning, but this is more because we are foreigners and they are curious of us. But in general, they are hard to deal with when you come from friendly, helpful, considerate, (clean) New Zealand. There are dumps everywhere, the gutters have become rubbish-bins. There is no such thing as fresh air. You can hardly see a blue sky - it makes me sad that they don't have that kind of beauty here. People bathe in the dirty river, and at the water pumps on the side of the road.
Everyone tries to rip us off, thinking we are rich white people. People follow you for ages begging for money, but even most of the poverty is untrue, as we found out from the Motherhouse.
I say all this, but I would not for one second have chosen not to come here. I refuse to live my life sheltered in quiet and beautiful countries. We have been so protected our whole lives, everything is provided for us, and if it isn't - the government will step in and defend us. But people here suffer and are forgotten, they don't get love. They are pushed aside, because everyone is in much the same situation, so who is there to help? These are the people Jesus came for, these are the ones He ate with, these are the ones He aches for. And I ache for them too. God has broken our hearts for that which breaks His.